COPD Diagnosis

I have not posted anything in my blog for a long time. I think the last was when I went through the process of getting new dentures. Recently I was diagnosed with Stage 2 COPD and that brought with it the desire to post to my blog again.

It started with the renovation project in our apartment complex. On Oct. 4, 2014 we were moved out of our apt. to a temporary apartment so ours could be renovated. We were moved from a two bedroom to a one bedroom and told it would be for thirty days. I knew it would be longer, just not as long as it turned out to be. It was four months before we got home. Within days of being moved back into our apt. we left for Illinois to be with my daughter when she gave birth to our 8th grandchild. We were there two weeks. We came home and spring set in rather quickly. That meant our apartment had open windows and doors until the fall. Over the winter I noticed I was having a very hard time breathing while in the apartment. I thought it might be something I ate so I started eliminating foods. Then I realized it was much improved any time I was not home and would worsen soon after getting home.

On April 9, 2016 after a full winter with the apartment pretty much closed up, I awoke and found I couldn't breathe. Then I started to get chest pains. That lead to a call to 911 and a trip to the hospital. After many tests including a Nuclear Stress Test (I chose to use the treadmill) and a Pulmonary Function Test it was found I have type 2 COPD. Ok. I smoked until 12 years ago. It is clearly my own fault. There are still breathing issues that we feel are related to our apartment. My other half has a terrible cough he has had for at least 2 1/2 months. It improves when he leaves the apartment. An environmental/air quality study was done last Thursday. If that shows nothing then we will have to go the allergy route.

But, on to the main idea behind this blog post. I had started smoking when I was 13. I stole cigarettes from my mother. When she caught me she made me sit and chain smoke until I got sick. Of course, being a wise-ass teenager, that didn't stop me. I quit for four years in my 20s. Never got past wanting a cigarette. The husband had quit, but only for three of the four years. When I found out I started back up. I finally quit once and for all at the age of 55. I felt so good about it. I felt I was headed in the right direction to a much healthier and longer life. Then comes this diagnosis.

In recent months and weeks we have friends who had quit smoking are now being diagnosed with COPD and cancer. What the heck?? Seriously?? We quit so this wouldn't happen. Now sets in the anger. Anger at myself for ever smoking. Confusion over why should I have quit if I was going to get sick anyway. Anger at myself for even thinking that. I have a friend who is diagnosed with severe COPD. This person still smokes. My original thought was why?? Are you nuts?? Then I realized my own anger at myself included being angry at myself for quitting. No longer was I proud of myself. No longer did I feel it was an accomplishment.

It has been a real struggle to put myself back in the good place. I have realized that once a person starts that ugly habit the damage is done. I was hell bent on trying to get people who smoke to quit. My own son hasn't quit. I am angry at him for not feeling stronger about it after knowing it has made his mother sick and probably will him too because he is my son. Of course he isn't going to feel stronger about it. It is an addiction. No one quits until they reach the point where they feel they have to and want to. Damage is already done anyway right?? Who knows? Most likely. But then I keep hearing if you hadn't you could be sicker. Yeah, could be much worse level of COPD or emphysema or lung cancer. My father called me 10 years after he had quit. He was frustrated. He had quit and yet got diagnosed with chronic bronchitis. Now I understand why he felt frustrated. I told my son that after being so happy not being tethered to the cigarettes anymore I am now tethered to an inhaler in the morning and an emergency inhaler I have to drag around with me.

It all comes down to one very simple decision. DO NOT START TO SMOKE!! Never ever enter that dark world. It is bad enough being exposed to second hand smoke. Why make it worse by smoking too?? Thank goodness there are so few places where one goes that one is now subject to smoking around them.

I quit when I planned my first trip to Hawaii. The thought of spending 11 hours in a tube trying to figure out where to get the chance to light up felt so wrong. Going to such a beautiful place and dirtying it up with cigarettes felt so wrong. When I got there I realized I had made the right decision. The smell of the air and the beauty all around me was amazing. To sully that with cigarette smoke seemed criminal!! I also was overjoyed because I put the money I used to spend away during the six months until the trip. I was so excited that I was going to have all this extra spending money!! If you are a teenager thinking about smoking or even going to the e-cigarettes try this first. Find out what that habit is going to cost you in money. Put off starting for six months. Put that amount of money in a jar. Get a large jar!! In six months count the money. Now you have a handful of wonderful money to spend on anything you want. I can guarantee most of you won't think about spending it on cigarettes or e-cigarettes. There will be many other things on your wish list you will think of first.

Please!! Read and comprehend what I have written here. IF you already smoke, quit! Even if you do get a diagnosis later, you probably will have prevented a far worse diagnosis. IF you don't smoke, don't start!!! Please! It doesn't affect just you. It affects everyone around you. The second hand smoke, the smell, your impending illnesses.